Here comes a narcissist. Run, run fast!

Boundaries

1. Set boundaries and stick to them. The narcissists are specialist when it comes to manipulation and know how to push people’s boundaries. Stay assertive. No matter how obnoxious they are.
2. Limit your interactions with the Narc! This is difficult if you work with them, or they are family members. Learn to emotionally distance yourself from them, and their toxic blood sucking behaviour.
3. Stay grounded because narcs distort facts. Their brilliant manipulation can convince you have it all wrong. Make sure you document what they say, on a chart. Write down your strengths, and weakness so you can reflect on your interactions. Then you will be ready for them in the next interaction.

Remember, the narcissist will not change! You must work around them. Not fair, is it? But if you want peace of mind, you need to outsmart them.

Remain Assertive

1. Narcissists are very good at wearing people down. Make sure you remain assertive! You must be confident in your ability.
2. Challenge yourself, practice being assertive to outsmart them. Whether they are workmates or family [God forbid], detach from them emotionally. Do not take this personally, they need at least one victim for their narcissistic supply. Do not give them that power! It is not about you; it is about them; they must always win! They are just mongrels, full stop.
3. Nurture yourself. You need to fill yourself with positive reinforcements. Get yourself a counsellor who understands the narc. Not all counsellors do.
4. Use positive affirmations instead of thinking about your weaknesses. Psych yourself up when you need to be in contact with them.
5. Surround yourself with good friends. This could be tricky if you have mutual friends with the narcissist as they might have convinced some of your friends, you are the problem, not them. Stay alert!

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is manipulation. The narcissist does this by:

1. Denying something happened or did not happen. They are so convincing, you to start to question yourself.
2. Minimizing is what the narcissist does to make your feelings or experiences appear not important. For example, a co-worker might say to you that task the boss gave you was mediocre, and theirs was of better value to the organisation. Even if both tasks were of equal value, they like to make you feel insignificant.
3. Narcissists twist things, they say it in such a way; you doubt your memory or reality.
4. Narcissists love to blame others, and never take responsibility for stuffing up, it is always someone else who did it according to the narc.
5. They love to withhold information from other people. This gives them control and makes the other person dependent on them.

I don’t know which of the five is the worse; they are all destructive. In the end, if you are targeted, think about self-preservation, check your emotions, and take control of them. Taking control of your emotions is vital. If you do not take control of your life, the narcissist will control you. They love to torment the hell out of you. That is why you need boundaries and protect yourself from the narcissist.

Flying Monkeys

Flying Monkeys is another method the narcissist can control you. Narcissists do not work alone. They can be charming, and convincing to people and an utter mongrel to their victim. So, if you say something bad about them, other people will question you, thinking there is something wrong with you. But you know narcissists are nasty to their target and sweet to other people.

The charming narcissist can turn family members or work mates into flying monkeys to side with them at your determent. The flying monkeys might not even be aware the narcissist is using them to provoke you. If you think a family member or workmate is being unreasonable when they were not before, I bet you anything a narcissist is behind it, using them for your downfall.

This is how the flying monkeys help the narcissist:

1. They help the narcissist by saying it’s okay what the narcissist is doing to protect themselves, or they might believe the narcissist.
2. If you wonder why there is gossip or incorrect information given to people about you, you need to look up the word, triangulation. There is a big possibility the narcissist is behind the whole thing!

Narcissist and their flying monkeys are dangerous people and can cause you a lot of emotional damage. It is important to have a counsellor to help you, because sometimes you do not know who has been convinced by the narcissist you are the problem.

You must always outsmart the narcissist and take your power back!